Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Scotch Family (Week I)

The Scotch Family: I
First stop on our trip: The Scotch Manor, owned by the notorious Drake Scotch.
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Drake is the son of a rich Scottish noble. By law, he is a noble, too; but by his behavior, you'd expect him to be... Well, let's let him talk.
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Me: Hello, Drake!
Drake: What? Who's there?!
Me: I am the narrator, punk. Wait... Aren't you supposed to have a Scottish accent?
Drake: The king told me not to use it, since it's too annoying.

Me: Ah, right.
Drake: Shouldn't the narrator know that?
Me: Only if we make a prequel. And unless you want baby pictures of you all over the place, I wouldn't recommend it. Anyways... Back to the story. Go do stuff.

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Drake: Right. Well, this here's my ship. She'll be a real beauty, once I get around to making my serfs fix her up.
Me: As you can tell, Drake blew off almost all of his inheritance on his house.
Drake: I perfer the term "Invested".
Me: Whatever you say, Drake.

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Me: Whoa... That's a lot of stuff, Drake.
Drake: Well, I am almost as rich as the king. And the construction was cheap, since I had my serfs do it.
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Me: Quite the musician, eh Drake?
Drake: Sh!!!
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Drake: I'm learning to cook!
Me: Oh? I heard that you nobles just have your servants sit on you.

Drake: Servants are an invasion of privacy. I like being alone, with... Special company.
Me: Oh? You have secrets, do you?
Drake: Well, I enjoy my...
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Me: Well, there are all the others! I believe you know some of them?
Drake: Why aren't my serfs working?!
Me: Calm down, Drake.
Drake: And who is this woman?
Me: That's Lady Black. She lives up in her manor, with Lord Black.
Drake: Oh, she's married?
Me: Yes, she is. To a powerful man, too. He is pretty close to the king. I wouldn't recomand you messing with him.
Drake: I'm a pretty powerful man, too!
Me: Yeah, but the king thinks that you are a crazy orphan. He listens to Lord Black.
Drake: Yeah, well, she's too old for me anyways.

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Me: Quite the party, Drake. And of all the social classes, too. I'm proud of you.
Drake: What the?! Didn't I tell this peasant to leave?!
Me: Then again...
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Me: Where are you off too?
Drake: The town center.
Me: And why are you going in your bathing suit?
Drake: It's hot outside?
Me: Of course. I might have known. Any particular reason you're going?
Drake: Well, I think it's about time Lord Scotch found himself a lady, no?
Me: And you being in a bathing suit will definitely earn any woman's respect, right?

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Me: Whoa! Nice place!
Drake: I'd prefer having a smaller Town Center and less taxes, thank you very much.
Me: Why don't you tell that to the king? He's on his way here now.Sims2EP82009-12-2522-41-55-18.jpg picture by babalered
Drake: I would, if I was wearing a bit more clothing.
Me: Then why did you come here in your bathing suit?
Drake: I'll answer THAT when you explain to me why there's an asphalt road in the middle of a medieval town.
Me: Hey, you're paying for the fourth wall you just broke!...And it's not my fault that the game needs a road!
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Drake: Hey, a witch! She probably has power she'll share... Time to work on my life goal, mate!
Me: And that is?
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Me: I should have guessed.
Drake: Shush! You're scaring my arcane friend away.
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Me: Is she crying?
Drake: Yep. I guess we didn't hit it off.
Me: Now wait a minute! Where are you going?
Drake: Home, before she realizes that she can turn me into a frog.Sims2EP82009-12-2522-52-37-19.jpg picture by babalered
Me: What's this? Is the Great Lord Scotch getting a job?
Drake: I heard that politics is a good way to meet women.
Me: Wow, Drake. Wow.
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Me: Did you just hire a matchmaker?
Drake: It's how my parents met. I don't need help, but... I want a heir, that's all.
Me: So you're getting married?
Drake: Of course not! Illegitimate children are all the rage in Paris, so I think I'll try it.
Kana: Hi! So you're Drake? What's with the funny suit?
Drake: I was about to ask the same thing.
Me: Kana, this is a MEDIEVAL neighborhood. If you want to stay here, you'll need a new style.
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Me: Morning! I... Have you guys been out here all night?
Drake: Yep.
Me: Drake... You do realize that Kana is a peasant? You can't marry her! It's against the law!
Drake: I am well aware of that fact. Which is why we won't be marrying. She'll just move in. If anyone asks, she's a servant.
Me: I see. And where does the dog come in?
Drake: The dog? Oh, he showed up around five hours ago and was digging here since.
Me: And you didn't chace him off?
Drake: I have other things on my hands right now.
Kana: I am not a thing!
Me: I'm leaving now.
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Me: Nice place.
Kana: Yep. It's the Black Knight Tavern, the best place to eat outside of the city.
Me: She finally talks!
Kana: I don't usually talk to narrators.
Drake: Hey! Some of my best friends are narrators!
Me: Thanks Drake!
Drake: I didn't mean you, obviously.
Me: Oh. Well. You two enjoy your date.
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Me: What happened to not getting married?
Drake: We aren't. We're just getting engaged. No law against THAT, is there?
Me: You'll do well as a politician, Drake.
Drake: Indeed. I just got promoted! Twice!
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Me: Welcome to the family, Kana! And congratulations on getting a Medieval dress.
Kana: And underwear/bathing suit/workout clothes/PJs, all in one suit.
Me: Well see here, I won't have you making fun of the custom content I downloaded. Or break the fourth wall. D'OH!
Kana: You think the contractor who fixes it will give us a frequent flier discount?
Me: I'm considering leaving it broken.
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Me: Uh-oh! Looks like Drake will be getting that heir sooner than he expected.
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Me: That's right, Kana! Meditate your way through pregnancy!
Drake: Hey, guess what? It's been a week since I started putting up with your narration.
Me: Has it? Than I guess it's time to take a break!
Drake: Really?
Me: Don't worry, you won't notice a gap. But I'm going to narrate this week for the other familys in town.
Drake: Darn. I was hoping you'd leave.

And with that heartwarming conclusion, we leave the Scotch family. Will Kana give birth to a boy, or a girl? Will Drake get a heir now, or will she need to get pregnant again? Or will she have... TWINS?!
Kana: Knock on wood!
Find out next week! Bye!